Healthy Insanity

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

• 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
• 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
• 3) Insist that your e mail address is:
• Xena-Warrior-Princess@OCDSB.edu.on.ca or Elvis-the-King@OCDSB.edu.on.ca
• 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
• 5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
• 6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
• 7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
• 8) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
• 9) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
• 10) Dont use any punctuation
• 11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
• 12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
• 13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
• 14) Sing along at the opera.
• 15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
• 16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
• 17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
• 18) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
• 19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
• 20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
• 21) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

....And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
22) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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