How you can tell when it's going to be a rotten day ..
You wake up face down on the pavement
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better
You see a TV news team waiting in your office
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city
Your twin sister forgot your birthday
You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture
You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife
Your income tax cheque bounces
You put both contact lenses in the same eye
Your pet rock snaps at you
Your wife says,"Good morning, Bill" and your name is George
Author Unknown.....But Troubled