Where to live after Retirement

    You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....

  • 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
  • 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
  • 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
  • 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food
  • 5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
  • 6 The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

    You can Live in California where..

  • 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
  • 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
  • 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
  • 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
  • 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
  • 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

    You can Live in New York City where...

  • 1. You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
  • 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't findWisconsin on a map.
  • 3. You think Central Park is 'nature,'
  • 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
  • 5. You've worn out a car horn.
  • 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You can Live in Minnesota where...

  • 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
  • 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
  • 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
  • 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
  • 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

    You can Live in the Deep South where...

  • 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
  • 2. 'y'all' is singular and 'all y'all' is plural.
  • 3. 'He needed killin'' is a valid defense.
  • 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob , Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

    You can live in Colorado where..

  • 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
  • 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
  • 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
  • 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    You can live in the Midwest where...

  • 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name
  • 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
  • 3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day.
  • 4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?'
  • 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, 'It was different!'

    AND You can live in Florida where..

  • 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
  • 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
  • 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
  • 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
  • 5 Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer

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