THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

• 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
• 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
• 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
• 4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• 5 I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• 6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
• 7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
• 8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• 9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• 10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing..
• 11.. Out of my mind.. Back in five minutes.
• 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinningmedicine.
• 13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
• 14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• 15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
• 16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
• 17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
• 18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
• 19.. Procrastinate Now!
• 20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
• 21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• 22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
• 23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
• 24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
• 25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
• 26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
• 27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
• 28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
• 29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
• 30.. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Will Rogers

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer

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