Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

• Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
• A day without sunshine is like, night.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
• Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
• Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
• Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• Everyone has a photographic memory; Some just don't have film. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• AND THE ONE I RELATE TO THE MOST THESE DAYS - - -
• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering "What happened?!"

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer