Words

The hidden meaning of words.

• A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
• A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
• A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumour.
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
• A plateau is a high form of flattery.
• Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
• Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
• Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
• Acupuncture is a jab well done.
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
• Every calendar's days are numbered.
• Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
• Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
• Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
• What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
• Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
• A backward poet writes inverse.
• Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
• Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
• Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
• If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
• When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
• When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
• When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
• When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
• Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
• Without geometry, life is pointless.
• A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
• A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
• In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your Count votes.
• A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
• She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
• He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
• He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
• Blownapart.
• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat minor.
• Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
• The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium.

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer
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